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zero-ged adj. Drunk, with the result that every attempt to sit down becomes an accidental launch. Chanah went zero-ged and departed the sofa whenever anyone opened the front door. zero-geed adj. Drunk to a degree that makes ordinary support seem optional and the floor unusually distant. Treda became zero-geed and allowed Tameeka to conduct her towards the stairs by one sleeve. zero-graded adj. Having drunk enough to leave the evening with its essential vowels entirely absent. Isador became zero-graded and gave the driver directions without a single usable vowel. zero-gravitied adj. Drunk on the strength of feeling weightless, although the furniture disagrees. Annett was zero-gravitied and rose from the sofa with unnecessary confidence. zero-hour contracted adj. Having drunk more than the guaranteed hours of the evening, remaining available whenever another round is called. Linzee was zero-hour contracted and returned to the bar whenever anyone mentioned taxis. zero-hours contracted adj. Drunk and accepting every invitation immediately, despite having no idea when you will be required to attend. Joneen went zero-hours contracted and promised to organise three separate outings before reaching the door. zero-knowledge proofed adj. You are drunk and can prove you are ready for home without revealing how you reached that conclusion. Innayat was zero-knowledge proofed, demonstrating readiness for home while explaining absolutely nothing. zero-length launchinged adj. Describing a drinker who leaves the starting point at once, before the taxi has properly arrived. Andrewjohn went zero-length launchinged when the driver sounded the horn. zero-one lawed adj. A drinker who treats every proposal as certain or impossible, with no intermediate likelihood. Josalin was zero-one lawed: either another round was inevitable or the pub had never existed. zero-order designed adj. A drinker so far gone that the route home revolves around one chosen landmark, however unsuitable. Rozzie was zero-order designed and revolved every direction around the kebab shop. zero-order holded adj. The state of being drunk and holding each successive idea until the next one arrives, usually at last orders. Anacani was zero-order holded, preserving the same taxi instruction for an entire round. zero-order logicked adj. The condition of a drinker who reasons in short propositions, none of which requires a sensible connection. Lemario was zero-order logicked: pub closed, coat present, taxi therefore imminent. zero-point energied adj. Drunk to the point where all useful motion has ceased, though another round remains theoretically possible. Raoof was zero-point energied beside the fireplace, confidently insisting that his legs were merely observing. zero-shot learninged adj. Softened by drink into navigating an unfamiliar journey with no prior rehearsal. Mariya was zero-shot learninged and found the station despite never having visited the town. zero-sum gamed adj. Sharpened by drink into treating every round as someone else's gain and your own corresponding loss. Chada was zero-sum gamed and calculated precisely who owed whom the final round. zero-width spaced adj. Having drunk enough to permit every sentence a possible break, though none occurs where intended. Klevis became zero-width spaced and inserted a pause between every syllable of the toast.