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zero-coupon noted adj. The condition of a drinker who makes no separate payments, but settles every promise at the end. Tenyia was zero-coupon noted, offering nothing during the evening and everything on the stairs home. zero-dayed adj. Drunk by the third round, and newly vulnerable to every suggestion involving another pub. zero-derivationed adj. Drunk to the extent of changing household words into instructions without changing their form. zero-edge pooled adj. Drunk on the strength of a limitless-looking glass, with the edge of the sofa no longer apparent. Keithan was zero-edge pooled and reached for the water as though it extended beyond the table. zero-emission vehicled adj. Too drunk to emit a useful word, yet somehow capable of conveying yourself to the front door. zero-ged adj. Drunk, with the result that every attempt to sit down becomes an accidental launch. Chanah went zero-ged and departed the sofa whenever anyone opened the front door. zero-geed adj. Drunk to a degree that makes ordinary support seem optional and the floor unusually distant. zero-graded adj. Having drunk enough to leave the evening with its essential vowels entirely absent. zero-gravitied adj. Drunk on the strength of feeling weightless, although the furniture disagrees. Annett was zero-gravitied and rose from the sofa with unnecessary confidence. zero-hour contracted adj. Having drunk more than the guaranteed hours of the evening, remaining available whenever another round is called. zero-hours contracted adj. Drunk and accepting every invitation immediately, despite having no idea when you will be required to attend. Joneen went zero-hours contracted and promised to organise three separate outings before reaching the door. zero-knowledge proofed adj. You are drunk and can prove you are ready for home without revealing how you reached that conclusion. zero-length launchinged adj. Describing a drinker who leaves the starting point at once, before the taxi has properly arrived. zero-one lawed adj. A drinker who treats every proposal as certain or impossible, with no intermediate likelihood. Josalin was zero-one lawed: either another round was inevitable or the pub had never existed. zero-order designed adj. A drinker so far gone that the route home revolves around one chosen landmark, however unsuitable. zero-order holded adj. The state of being drunk and holding each successive idea until the next one arrives, usually at last orders.